FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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