If that was your dad, he is hot
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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