i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
where are my eyebrows?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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