What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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