It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
