you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
