We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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