Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
