So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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