the new term for farting is butt boxing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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