I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
