yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
