you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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