Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
pray to the hookup gods
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
