i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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