You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
