I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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