In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
