yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
