What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
