They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
A+ Viking dick
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