We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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