I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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