They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
