GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
