THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The struggles of a small town man whore
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I have post one night stand depression
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