so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
