Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
