he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
