Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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