I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
