love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I want her autograph on my taint
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize