marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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