Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize