Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
