There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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