think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
