i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
