my sisters under your porch take her home
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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