worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
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I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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