Dual....:-)
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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