Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
honey bunches of taint.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
