Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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