You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
