he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
