Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
