Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
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Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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