I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
