I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
