either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I am one with the molecules
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
