I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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