I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
