Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
