dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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