it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
