If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
