Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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