He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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