I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
As shirtless as possible
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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