I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
